Girl, wash your goals?!
I have a horrible confession. I may lose friends if anyone finds out who wrote this. It’s the reason I contemplated writing this anonymously, because I may get threats for saying this. It’s caused embarrassment and so many awkward situations for me.
Ok, here it is goes….
I LOVE Rachel Hollis. But, I couldn’t finish her book!
However, I honestly think it’s a personal problem. Here’s why:
When reading her book, I felt less than. My goals at this time were non existent and I was happy in my little world being a good mom and having amazon prime and showering as a hobby. My goals and dreams weren’t as big as hers. I took time to self examine, was something wrong with me? Why didn’t I have these grandiose dreams? I began feeling sad, and like I said… less than.
But here’s what I discovered. I didn’t like her book, because I didn’t feel she spent enough time in the middle ground.
She didn’t spend enough time talking about the struggle. The grind.
Maybe that wasn’t the point of the book, but I felt I needed that to NOT feel bad about myself. It’s a me problem… I get it. So after a few weeks of soul searching/goal searching. I found out that my goals don’t need to be to sell out arenas and be the highest paid motivational speaker. On the Gary Vee podcast he said something profound. He told someone, “I pray your goals aren’t as big as mine.” He said this with complete sincerity while he discussed how his personal life suffered. He had interns who had been on more family vacations. He talked about friends who made a fraction of what he made but we’re much happier and had a work life balance he envies.
So I’m here to just reiterate what Gary Vee said to you: Your goals are yours, mom friends. I remember when my goals were to breastfeed a certain number of months, and at the time you might as well have told me to climb Mount Everest because they both seemed equally as likely.
Goals are always evolving. There is not a law that says your goal always has to be your goal. But here’s the thing mama, you need goals.
I spent most of 2018 with a goal of getting to bedtime alive and that worked, however I didn’t thrive. I did awesome things, and it was a great year where I savored every minute I could with my kids. I didn’t fail. Not really, because I never gave myself anything to really fail at. Please don’t think I’m being hard on myself. This year I am so proud of things I’ve done yet they were in spite of my lack of real goals.
So here’s the thing. I am going to challenge you. I am going to ask you to think over the next few weeks and make yourself some goals. Some real goals, that you can flat out fail. You will give yourself permission to fail, but only after you try like hell. Mamas, I don’t care if your goals are to be in the Olympics or volunteer in your child’s classroom one time a month. WRITE them down. Write down goals that you know you can probably squash, and write some down that scare the hell out of you. Write some down you don’t even feel comfortable telling anyone. You aren’t done. Write down how you get there, and if you don’t know… then write down how to get halfway there. Right down the first step. The prize is the journey. The grind. That’s “where the sausage is made”.
The juice is in the squeeze and I’m a firm believer in half way points. Ask your friends who are halfway there. A boss mom who is somewhere in-between Rachel Hollis and a couch potato. Ask them how they became consistent, how they got off the couch (figuratively and literally).
And please, Mrs. Hollis, if this blog post by some sort of Act of God ends up on your little mobile screen at 1 am, and you are laughing reading this please know it wasn’t you, it was me. I’ll still totally fan girl when I see you. You’ll still get DMs from me asking where you got yours hats or shoes. I love your hair and I want you to join my PTA. Please don’t block me on Instagram.